Decisions

When we begin a tour, there are many decisions to make - swords, blades, boots, leather belts, hats, cleaning supplies for boot and leather care, tents, outdoor kitchen, tiki torches, etc. The list is much longer than this article. All of these items must be addressed if one plans to survive The Swordsmen's "Share the Niceness" Tour.

Weapons must be chosen weighing authenticity with utilitarianism. Dirk Perfect (that's me) fights with an Arms & Armor transition all-steel smallsword, (order #0189 and tell them Dirk sent you). Though out of the Elizabethan period, the weapon has a meaty look for its size and no one has trouble believing it is dangerous. The weapon affords easy cleaning (crucial on tour), extreme control and it sings like an angel. When rigged with a musketeer blade, the weapon looks formidable and is fast enough for the high-speed high jinks of Dirk and Guido.

A ten-hour, five-show day requires a weapon that is catchable (sword tosses in the act), cleanable and comfortable. Although the steel requires more upkeep than brass, it is "right" for Dirk. Don't exclude a weapon on the basis of authenticity. When a knowledgeable patron questions the authenticity of my smallsword, I extol its revolutionary new lines and claim to be ahead of my time. Rule Number One of Renaissance Festival Acting: "The Actor Justifies."

Preparing for the Weather

Because The Swordsmen perform in all weather, we have to be prepared to sword fight on a slippery 2' x 4' stage in the driving rain for seven audience members. Although these are not our favorite performance conditions (we prefer a thousand-plus crowd waving $20 bills at us) we are prepared for bad weather.

If rain threatens, we swab our blades from hilt to foible with Marvel's Mystery Oil, a light, top-end engine lubricant available at discerning auto-parts stores across this great land. Note: your sword is now oily and more subject than ever to the laws of gravity.

The show goes on and so do we, even in the rain. And so do our leather boots (well-oiled), our costumes (we have duplicates for tomorrow's show) and our fights. After all, there are people sitting out there in the rain after driving an hour and a half to get there, paying twelve bucks a head just to get in, and finding out that the joust is canceled. Fortunately for them, Dirk and Guido, "bold and stupid men," still have a show that not only goes on, but is hilarious, educational, and a real tribute to that binding contract we signed.

If the gale-force winds and driving rain interfere with the audience's ability to hear our act, at least the sword fights can be seen. At such moments, David and I stop and smell the roses. We say aloud how good it is to be sword fighting for a living. Then, with a gleam in our eyes and fear for our knees in our hearts, we draw our weapons.

Rain Pace

We adhere strictly to a half-pace or "rain pace" fighting speed when the deck is slippery. David and I can, when necessary, perform most of our fights without moving our feet, which has added years to our lives. Any flips or falls get cut and we implement rain-day adjustments to the choreography. Knowing when not to do Hilarious Bit No. 9 is the test of experience.

Do not accidentally lose a sword into a crowd soaked by monsoons and huddled together for warmth since the temperature has dropped 15 degrees; they will take it personally. Be safe and smart and give them your cleanest and easiest fight. Pay attention to your feet, it is slippery on that stage. Communicate with your partner and smile, smile, smile.

Warming Up and Cooling Down

Following the show, get a warm drink. Avoid caffeinated beverages as they will waste your energy and tire you eventually. Don't allow your muscles a chance to tighten up; keep moving. David and I usually walk after the show for just that reason. Getting through a rain show is not enough; you must be ready for the next four! It is demanding, both physically and mentally.

Stay in shape, whatever that means for you. We focus on wind, legs, alertness and stamina. We have a regular warm-up/ workout which we do daily before a performance. This is not just a good idea; it is essential. It is the difference between working and earning money and nursing a broken ankle.

The end-of-day warm down is equally important. Ten hours on your feet in thigh-high leather boots makes for some aching metatarsals, not to mention thighs, butt, back and brain. Give yourself a moment, stretch those hamstrings, flex those feet. Remember, there's another show tomorrow and the weather may not change.

Between outdoor dramas and Renaissance faires, I've spent the past 11 summers duking it up in the great outdoors. One rarely slips on an acorn or fends off an opossum in the "legitimate" theatre, but I've found performing at Renaissance festivals to be among the most theatrically satisfying experiences of my career.

If you are undaunted by 100 degree heat and/or subfreezing temperatures; if you have enough gear to live outside for five to ten months of the year (i.e., tent, tarp, stove, deck chairs, a 34-foot mobile home, etc.); if you have a swift sword arm and teeth that gleam like the full moon on the Thames, then mayhap outdoor fighting is for you. If so, plan ahead and consult your encyclopedia under: Ant, Mymicinae, subfamily: "Fire Ant."

Doug Mumaw is a SAFD certified teacher and David Woolley is a SAFD Fight Master. They are based in Chicago and have been taking their swashbuckling comedy act, The Swordsmen, on the road for several years.

Reprinted with permission from the Fight Master.